I sure hope Not! I would hate to think I'm mid life right now! But the title seemed so fitting for what I'm going through right now. Another title that would be fitting is "Empty Nest Syndrome!" Although I'm a nurse in profession I have been a stay at home Mom for four years now. I have done things since staying home, like babysitting both my nephews for their first year, working at the girls preschool, and cheer coaching, but nothing full time all day everyday. Now for the first time since I've been home I'm all alone all day since all three kids are in school. Don't get me wrong I have plenty to do all day to keep me busy and do enjoy many of the perks of having time to myself but it's also a little unnerving to spend sooo much time by yourself! Not sure if I can explain this well in writing but I feel unsettled for some reason. Like I need something to do. I am on the subbing list at my kids school and have done that twice in a classroom and once for the nurse but that's only 3 times in 6 weeks. To explain better 2 days ago in the matter of three hours I went from thinking I'd go back to school, have 2 more babies(because you cant just have one that's so far away from the youngest), to babysitting my friends newborn, to looking for a job outside the home. All those do not work out well because I do not like school, we are not wanting more children, if I babysit I get tied down and cant volunteer at the kids school or spend their school breaks with just them, and if I work outside the home that includes all Holiday breaks and summer that the kids would be home. So I feel a little lost in where my "place" is right now. I would love to go back to my old nursing job, but I'm not ready to give up the school breaks with the kids and being able to pick them up after school and doing the activities we do like drum lessons, soccer, & gymnastics. So you see just a little unsure of things right now. But on very positive note I'm in a amazing bible study by Beth Moore called Living Beyond Yourself. I truly feel this was meant to be at this season of my life and is exactly what I need. I feel the Lord is drawing me close and going to be telling me exactly where and what I'm supposed to be doing if I'd just sit down and listen and lean on Him instead of trying things my own way! With Him I have no worries I'll be led in the correct direction, my worry is I won't settle down long enough to listen because I'm Type A and need things to move quickly and unfortunately I'm a little impatient:( Probably the 2 things the Lord is working on me right now by putting me alone all day!! Ha! For my christian friends prayers are welcomed for this new season in our lives and for my stay at home moms I'm available for coffee/lunch dates lol!!!
Addendum: Directly after posting this I went and sat down and started my bible study and then not even a minute later the school called for me to work tomorrow. Hmmmm coincidence or is someone speaking to me?!!!!!
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5 comments:
Friend, I worry about this day OFTEN for myself~ keep your head up. Your feet will be set on the right path, whatever that may be. Plus, you know you are in my backyard? You can stop over anytime or call. Its been nice seeing you on TUes for the study, even though we haven't gotten to talk yet.
Thanks Courtney, I would love for us to visit and chat!
Praying for you as I know you are not one to sit still for long!! :) Sorry I didn't get to chat more with you the other night at gym...it was my old college roommate there that I wanted to catch too before she left. I hope you find a peace about where God is calling you at this time.
mid-life crisis or the Lord drawing you close, why do those feel so similar sometimes!! stay strong and stay still!
I'm sure this is a rough time for you--transitions can be hard. However, like you said, HE will direct your path. I'll be praying for discernment :) In the meantime, I'd love to join you for lunch sometime...or a shopping day :)
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